The internet is not real, just a lot of computers and servers joined together, yet it has become a place, and in that place the Mouse can stumble over many things. One such thing was these quotes by Y.Clerebout. I have no idea who this author is or why they wrote these, or what the context really was. In a past life, Mouse would have found these “triggering,” or upsetting because of their accuracy.
They use the phrases, the exact phrases, they describe the behaviour, that the Mouse thought was normal. Mouse promised this blog would not be dark, but a creative outlet too, and then the Mouse found these, or did these find the Mouse. A reminder of what once was, so soon after the revelation of the new world in which the Mouse really lives. Perhaps, they are a test for the Mouse, something that once would have been an upsetting reminder of once was and would have been the prelude to reliving the past emotionally are now something else entirely, the Mouse is not completely sure.
The Mouse is contemplative, these words do not trigger, but they do prompt emotion; not to relive the experiences that make them relevant, although they definitely could be used to do that, instead, something else. However, they do bring a sadness, a sadness not only for what passed as normal for the Mouse, but that greater realisation that Mouse was not alone, and that like the Mouse, this will appear normal and acceptable to some people. That is upsetting, that provokes an emotional response. To be abused is something Mouse does not wish on anyone, even his abuser, two wrongs do not make thing right. Some said it would be justice, or karma, not to me, for anyone to be abused is wrong, person or animal. You do not teach that an action is wrong by doing it, you simply condone it. More, you give an abuser cover, if it is acceptable to abuse an abuser then the abuser simply claims their victim was the abuser first. An abuser claiming victim, far too common, especially for men, like Mouse, abused by women.
Mouse wants to be positive, the fact that abuse domestic and otherwise exists does sadden the Mouse tremendously, Mouse wishes that he could do more, but feels the circumstances of his life prevent such involvement, after all, Mouse knows that his abuser won the day. Mouse was officially labelled the abuser, the Family Court, put a seal on the story, the lies and he pays a price everyday. Mouse knows, that as a male, once the accusation is hurled the label will stick, you are what you are told you are. No protestation, no evidence, no lack of action from the police, no description of what has actually happened will clear your name. Mud sticks as Mouse well knows. In fact this why the Mouse is anonymouse in the first place.
Mouse moved away, far enough to start a new life, a new mousehole. A life without the label, although the closest to Mouse know the accusations, the stories, the lies, the truths, the manipulations and most importantly they judged the Mouse they saw. Many have seen the texts, seen the emails, seen the social media, the blog entries from the one who abused the Mouse, not so many know the real Mouse. Meet Anonymouse, no manifesto, no bold statement, but not just a Mouse.