I am sat in a room, concrete and cold,
Bleached to destruction, Scrubbed to death
An impossibly thin rubber coated mattress,
Look a technological wonder to behold!
In the corner up above, see a camera
Looking down, unblinking, unthinking,
A toilet, stainless steel, so seat no lid,
No paper too, too risky this loo.
No blanket, no pillow to rest my head,
No sleep or rest on this excuse for a bed,
My clothes taken off me, these padded, too big,
Without shoes, I am cold, I shiver alone, nothing said.
Inside and out and lonely and cold, no one appears,
Nothing happens, no one cares, I hear shouts and cries,
I stay silent, nothing to say except why am I here
I stay still, not moving at all, not even my tears.
No food nor drink, not even my medication is with me,
I hide, dazzled by lights, waiting for the moment,
Its been too long, terror is stalking, my demons draw near,
No longer invisible, they find me, look deep, my fear they see.
It could be day or night, there is no natural light
They circle around me waiting to strike, breath slow and deep,
My heart races and they swarm, the world goes black,
The camera stares down, it sees me but has no sight.
They have me now, no resistance I proffer, to weak to resist
The darkness sweeps in, destructive and fierce.
Perhaps if I die, heaven will be bright
The darkness gone and the demons desist.
This poem was written in response to the prompt border for 2 reasons: firstly, the Mouse really was arrested, and the person who got the Mouse’s arrested told the Police a long detailed and completely false mental health story, including that Mouse had Borderline Personality Disorder. Mistakenly many believe that Borderline Personality means that person is on the border between Psychosis and Neurosis, when in reality the disorder would be better called emotionally unstable personality disorder, because the person displays characteristics of both pyschosis and neurosis.
Secondly, because the arrest marked the end of a chapter for Mouse, and that end literally marks a border in Mouse’s life. There is a distinct disjunction between what went before and what came after, including the physical relocation of the Mouse across a border.
The Mouse has no idea where this was hiding, the Mouse has no idea why the word Border prompted this, but it was incredibly strong. Mouse has looked at the prompt over and over, this thought was screaming to get out.
Thank you for reading.