Poetry Corner: A word does not say it all
Abuse is a word, it cannot encapsulate what I’ve seen or heard,
It is a rouse, to simplify and disguise, allows an outsider to surmise,
A word that doesn’t know my name, doesn’t feel my pain,
You think you know all by summary, you never even met me,
There, the word, the definition, how long were you in perdition?
The textbooks list the boxes you can tick, make a judgement real quick,
Don’t look to my eyes, see the darkness, ignore the torture they confess,
Summarise it all into a single word, scared to death of what was my world,
Tip your head and show concern, in desperation, they can turn,
Me, however, you will leave to rot, but die, I will not.
Apply your label, say what you may, as wrong now as you were yesterday,
Assist help and enable, my abuser eats at your table,
It is your guilty conscience you must assuage, that is your reward, your wage,
You would leave me to suicide, in my funeral corsage you would ride,
My forgiveness you will never earn, nor will I forget your good turn.
Forgiveness is not something in which I trade, I do not give it when betrayed,
For a time, I succumbed to hate, but that made me like you, that I could not take,
The scars they have started to fade, memories distant, further away,
Sometimes it feels unreal, the wounds in time have started to heal,
I know much less now than I knew then; do dare to trust again?
With you it was perilous, uncertain, would I see a morning, open the curtain,
I was wrong, and I deserved to hurt, my consciousness on red alert,
I deserved it and earned the punishment, that was what love meant,
Your boxes and your forms never took that away, you don’t believe me to this day,
In the dark of loneliness empty and afraid, I hid and in the darkness, I was made.