Dear Diary: Questions and Fears

Anxiety is crippling; not all the time, but at its very worst, it paralyses me completely. My mind fills with nothing but questions and big what if? dilemmas. The fears, are both rational and irrational, having had a paralysing hemiplegic migraine just 10 days ago I know that is always a possibility in everything I… Continue reading Dear Diary: Questions and Fears

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Poetry Corner: Piñata

You don’t not hear the laughing, It’s not like you don’t see them point A jester without a costume is still quite the joke   You know the truth, you know what’s real, It’s that you learn to pretend so you don’t have to feel, A delusion that it’s not you that’s the biggest joke… Continue reading Poetry Corner: Piñata

Poetry Corner: Monday Does Not Care

The morning our beautiful mistress, our most heartless master, Beckons us to our dream, Cares not of triumph nor disaster.   The sun rises and sets indifferent to them all, The dust it gathers before even the first night has come to fall. Agony and joy, the cheers, imposters call.   It never cared about… Continue reading Poetry Corner: Monday Does Not Care

Dear Diary: You Can Never Hide

One of the great things about life is we can hide, work, family, hobbies, athletic endeavour combinations of those afford us wonderful opportunities to hide away from reality. While we get away and pursue some noble and worthwhile goal to the applause of our peers, we can hide from facing something bigger, and more frightening… Continue reading Dear Diary: You Can Never Hide

Poetry Corner: Clock of Time

I’m not sure I asked, It happened anyway, you said I did, It’s all my fault, It always is.   An earned reward, that consequence I knew better, You said I did, I always do.   I gave up knowing, Not even the same is safe Breathing daring, I know I should.   You would… Continue reading Poetry Corner: Clock of Time

Dear Diary: Look Down on Me?

Most days a look of contempt or disdain is nothing to me, the opinion of some random non-entity who knows nothing of who I am Today it bothered me: today I wanted to shake her and ask who are you to think for one minute you are better than me? No one is better than… Continue reading Dear Diary: Look Down on Me?

Dear Diary: Proof of Something

If I am proof of anything it's hard work doesn't pay off, practice doesn't make perfect and what goes around doesn't come around. In reality, you have to be working hard on the right things in the right way, it has to be perfect practice, life isn't even remotely fair and the universe simply does… Continue reading Dear Diary: Proof of Something

Dear Diary: 19th July 17, At The Head of the Valley

Back from a weekend in Wales. For many, this is a simple thing, for my Mouse this was a weekend of overcoming fears. Fear of the unknown, a trip to a new and unfamiliar place via new roads, to the countryside. No urban landscape, no hospital, no backup plan, no safety net, the very darkest… Continue reading Dear Diary: 19th July 17, At The Head of the Valley

Dear Diary: The Night Is Dark And Full of Terrors

My attacks happen in my sleep. I wake up, sometimes I am ok. Sometimes I am not. Sometimes I am paralysed Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes I can speak. Sometimes I slur. Sometimes I make no sense. One time it didn't hurt. But I woke up. And sound strummed agony for chords I… Continue reading Dear Diary: The Night Is Dark And Full of Terrors

Monday Night Reflection: Back to Normal

That is a lie, of course, there is no back to normal. Not in a bad way, but I am not going back. I had decided to move on before any of this dropped on me, I had changed direction, and normal was a fluid state of moving forward towards something new and different. Normal… Continue reading Monday Night Reflection: Back to Normal