No More Excuses

I am not sure if it is laziness, perception, of a time and space measurable phenomena, but it feels like I have gone from documenting the phenomena of my lack of creativity to creatively moaning about it. So, when I haven’t been moaning about my lack of creativity and procrastinating effectively by writing, planning and… Continue reading No More Excuses

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Consumption and Creativity

So I am sat here on a sunny Good Friday, Deadmou5 on, and suitably gluten free falafel and a can of cherryade on my desk and I stare around my office which has been cleared if not sorted (a couple of give-away crates)  and looks like a creative space and not a primary school war… Continue reading Consumption and Creativity

Dear Diary: Vlogging, Nipsy Hussle and Breadcrumb Trails

The eagle-eyed will have spotted a set of pictures of Cumbria. A beautiful sunset where I took the full opportunity to take a lot of pictures and experiment with some raw lens effects using a couple of camera phones, although I didn’t have any extra lenses with me because the main purpose was to celebrate… Continue reading Dear Diary: Vlogging, Nipsy Hussle and Breadcrumb Trails

Dear Diary: Keith Flint

7th March 2019 I don’t like to write about someone I don’t know personally and his music was only part of the backdrop in my life. I was not fan; I did not go to concerts or have lots of memorabilia. It sometimes feels fraudulent when some dies to even comment when I have no… Continue reading Dear Diary: Keith Flint

Dear Diary: New Year’s Disillusion​

Last year I wrote at New Year about the new landscape, the knowledge of not knowing if my last breath was indeed my last and the debacle of the pulmonary embolism that wasn't. I read there a tone of optimism, a forward-looking idealism and upbeat tenor that has become somewhat inappropriate. The season, like the… Continue reading Dear Diary: New Year’s Disillusion​

Dear Diary: Questions and Fears

Anxiety is crippling; not all the time, but at its very worst, it paralyses me completely. My mind fills with nothing but questions and big what if? dilemmas. The fears, are both rational and irrational, having had a paralysing hemiplegic migraine just 10 days ago I know that is always a possibility in everything I… Continue reading Dear Diary: Questions and Fears

Dear Diary: I wish

I wish I had a bag full of excuses. I wish I had my make-believe life where I had a reason to get up in the morning. I wish I didn't know what pain felt like. I wish numbness didn't hurt. I wish empty didn't ache like dry bones grinding inside. I wish I had… Continue reading Dear Diary: I wish

Dear Diary: Friday Night

Its Friday, something changes and everyone celebrates because there is no work tomorrow, or school.  I definitely was doing something wrong when I got a Saturday job, and then two Saturday jobs. It sort of difficult to remember those first 13 years, what was it like to think great Friday the weekend is mine, I… Continue reading Dear Diary: Friday Night

Dear Diary: I read a Book

Something was supposed to happen: it wasn't fiction. I guess if I had been then my expectation for entertainment could have been fulfilled, maybe I was entertained. Gosh, maybe my book is standing like Maximus shouting "are you not entertained!" Somehow, that isn't happening. I expected to learn something, I was excited to read this… Continue reading Dear Diary: I read a Book

Dear Diary: New Year: Not a New Me

I am not a big New Year’s resolution person, and throughout 2017 I have tried hard to resist the temptation to say my life was changed by my experiences as if it were some epiphany. Simply because it wasn’t. There was no epiphany, there was no radical change in the direction, philosophy or reorientation of… Continue reading Dear Diary: New Year: Not a New Me