Into the Lions Den

I am struggling creatively, I am not going to hide from that. Even simple technical practice has fallen by the wayside as my motivation has waned considerably in the last month. The clearing of my office and regeneration of my creative space did not ignite a single spark of inspiration, I was relieved, mostly, that… Continue reading Into the Lions Den

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Resus Reflections

This is one of those time where I could ramble on in great detail about what exactly happened on the 15th of December and the days that followed. A detailed chronology of the mistakes, the rise and fall of my fortunes as passed from doctor to doctor, corridor to cubicle, to corridor, to ward, discharge to home,… Continue reading Resus Reflections

Dear Diary – After the Hiatus

From Monday 3pm to Friday 3pm stuck in Hospital doing my best not to die of boredom, with so much empty space. The reality was I shut down. Just to be able to cope I had to not think, no internalise, not be in the moment, not fully present or engaged, and not full focused… Continue reading Dear Diary – After the Hiatus

Monday Night Reflection – Success and Failure

I planned to take a week off after competing and it ended up being a very good idea. The competition when exceptionally well and I secured my qualification for the British Finals as I set out to do, came back healthy and am now on course to go from the British Finals to the World… Continue reading Monday Night Reflection – Success and Failure

Monday Night Reflection: Nothing To See Here

It is difficult to reflect on a week, where, to my mind, very little of what happened is Mouse related. Mr Mouse, it would appear has not been busy. Where Mr Mouse was once busy sorting out and tidying around making sense of my world and doing a great job in the background of getting… Continue reading Monday Night Reflection: Nothing To See Here

Monday Night Reflection: Not Famous

I have tried to avoid deep introspection and life reassessment, it’s a bit cheesy, but I have been very low, and having discovered that on top of my existing medical journey I picked up a kidney infection (probably in my duplex kidney) I did manage to hit a very low and rather depressed point. Thing… Continue reading Monday Night Reflection: Not Famous

Dear Diary 14th April 2017

I have nothing to say My voice has gone literally and metaphorically I am scared to sleep tonight Scared to say I had a small attack My mouth is numb and my head is throbbing I know the signs now, even when they are mild Staying awake doesn't change a thing Sleeping gets it over… Continue reading Dear Diary 14th April 2017

Monday Night Reflection: Moving Forward?

This has been a difficult week. I wrote my last reflection sat next to a hospital bed, and here I am back at my desk, that bed does not feel a lifetime ago. Quite the reverse, hospital feels far too close, and I am finding it difficult to impossible to move forward or get away… Continue reading Monday Night Reflection: Moving Forward?

Monday Night Reflection: Trying Not To Get Medical

It has been a difficult time; and honestly I am still in a difficult spot. I am sat next to my hospital bed writing on my netbook hoping the rather poor wifi will let me post this. At the same time, I want to reflect in a relevant way about my life, what I have learned, and what is important… Continue reading Monday Night Reflection: Trying Not To Get Medical

Dear Diary: 20th February 2017

Don't stroke the Mouse! Mouse was rushed into hospital last Tuesday with a suspected stroke. Nearly a week later all we can say for definite is that Thursday night his brain showed no sign of damage. 20 stroke like episodes later Mouse can barely move his left side or speak. His NHS experience is far… Continue reading Dear Diary: 20th February 2017