Dear Diary: Questions and Fears

Anxiety is crippling; not all the time, but at its very worst, it paralyses me completely. My mind fills with nothing but questions and big what if? dilemmas. The fears, are both rational and irrational, having had a paralysing hemiplegic migraine just 10 days ago I know that is always a possibility in everything I… Continue reading Dear Diary: Questions and Fears

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Dear Diary: I wish

I wish I had a bag full of excuses. I wish I had my make-believe life where I had a reason to get up in the morning. I wish I didn't know what pain felt like. I wish numbness didn't hurt. I wish empty didn't ache like dry bones grinding inside. I wish I had… Continue reading Dear Diary: I wish

Poetry Corner: Piñata

You don’t not hear the laughing, It’s not like you don’t see them point A jester without a costume is still quite the joke   You know the truth, you know what’s real, It’s that you learn to pretend so you don’t have to feel, A delusion that it’s not you that’s the biggest joke… Continue reading Poetry Corner: Piñata

Poetry Corner: A Good Person

Don’t hurt the people around you, that’s what good people do, The pain was never meant to show, no one is ever to know,   Day by day you just stumble on, pretend nothing is wrong, Got nowhere to fall, you have got no one to call,   You are not alone, all you have… Continue reading Poetry Corner: A Good Person

Poetry Corner: 24 Hours

Twenty four hours; someone said that, I am pretty sure someone said that, Wait twenty-four hours. That is what they said, don’t end it now, wait twenty-four hours, What did they say after that? I don’t really remember, or maybe, honestly, I don’t want to remember, Because it wasn’t true! Twenty four hours; time to… Continue reading Poetry Corner: 24 Hours

Poetry Corner: It’s the Black Dog Talking

It’s not real, it’s the black dog talking Whispers in my mind, that took it all it was away The rhyme, the meter, the stitch in time Silence, the crescendo of black, bleak, empty The cold dead mental midwinter   I thought I had a question or was it a reason, The dog convinced me… Continue reading Poetry Corner: It’s the Black Dog Talking

Dear Diary : In the Spaces

Right now I am sat in a neurology unit. I was admitted yesterday, I arrived at 3pm, got to the actual bed for me at 9.45pm. This will typify my experience, lots of time and space …. Time to think, or to be precise, more time to think, but now out of my space. It… Continue reading Dear Diary : In the Spaces

Monday Night Reflection: Trying Not To Get Medical

It has been a difficult time; and honestly I am still in a difficult spot. I am sat next to my hospital bed writing on my netbook hoping the rather poor wifi will let me post this. At the same time, I want to reflect in a relevant way about my life, what I have learned, and what is important… Continue reading Monday Night Reflection: Trying Not To Get Medical